Tough Love

On Friday, we threw another birthday party for America.  She turned 232.  Not old, by imperial standards, but no longer a fresh-faced ingenue, either.  She's a fully matured woman now, still capable of turning heads but she looks her best wearing makeup and heels with the lights down low.

New York City's celebration seemed pretty sedate, at least by Big Apple standards.  Certainly there was little of the spectacle of the two great July 4th's of my lifetime -- 1976's bicentennial, with it's tall ships sailing up the Hudson as New York prepared to host its first Democratic Convention in 52 years and celebrate their economic recovery from the previous year's near-bankruptcy, and 1986, when the Statue of Liberty turned 100 and Presidents Reagan and Mitterrand partied all weekend with the help of Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, 30,000 vessels in New York Harbor and the largest fireworks display in American history.

No, it rained this year, fittingly.  Not that precipitation was necessary to dampen the country's patriotic fervor.  It's been a tough twenty-first century so far here in WORSP (that would be the World's Only Remaining Super-Power).  As George Bush's reign of error inches towards a close, we have less for which to be thankful with each passing day.  

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan drag on, although little notice is taken anymore.  Mention of American casualties is rare and Iraqi casualties rarer.  Pictures of our fallen soldiers are non-existent.  Half-hearted arguments fizzle here and there, like a sparkler discarded at a picnic, as to whether the surge is actually working, but they're more for the sake of appearances than anything else.  $100 fill-ups at the pump and a 5.5% unemployment rate have slowly and methodically sapped the country of the will to protest a war seen only on HBO and paid for by borrowing against our children's futures.  Even the government we installed in Iraq is sick of us.  Prime Minister al-Maliki presented us this week with a gift-wrapped demand to leave, the sooner the better, and the Bush/McCain response was, "No thanks, we're good."

General Antonio Tagube, the messenger whom Bush sent to investigate the reported atrocities at Abu Ghraib and then promptly fired when Tagube informed him there was gambling taking place in the casino, made a noisy comeback as Independence Day approached.  He hooked up with the Physicians for Human Rights on their report detailing the torture of prisoners by the American army and declared, "There is no longer any doubt as to whether the current administration has committed war crimes.  The only question is whether those who ordered torture will be held to account."  What's that you say?  War crimes?  It brought us halfway out of our Barcaloungers, where we were depressively trying to nap away the summer.  But the concept of an entire administration being guilty to some degree of war crimes was too much for us to get our heads around so we filed it under "left-wing crazy," right next to the image of Dennis Kucinich reading articles of impeachment into the record of the House of Representatives.  (The idea that Congress in its present construct would, or could, actually impeach a corrupt president is laughable.  Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, admits she "would probably advocate" impeachment -- if she were not in the House.  But, as it is, "the question of impeachment is something that would divide the country."  There's some leadership for you.)  So the Bush/Cheney train continues inexorably on down the tracks, running out the clock until they return to the private sector and cash in the chips they've been amassing for these past eight years.  And our fitful  slumber continued.

Former Deputy Associate Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Jason Burnett, accused Vice President Cheney's staff of editing congressional testimony on the threats of global warming.  Seems the veep wasn't happy with the conclusions drawn that climate change has human health consequences.  "I'm not interested in pointing fingers at any individual," Burnett said, but (he might as well have added), "the guy I'm thinking of has a battery in his chest and I think he lives in a bunker."  To which we yawned.  That kind of penny-ante corruption barely survives a full news cycle these days.

I know it's the 4th of July.  I know it's a time to profess love of country, greatest experiment mankind has ever seen, blah, blah, blah.  Trouble is, it's hard to perform on demand.  And I'm just not feeling it.

To borrow a time-worn analogy, if America was a woman with whom I was involved, our relationship would be on the rocks.  She's like this big, beautiful, rich and powerful woman you brought home to meet the parents a couple of decades ago.  She may have had a few skeletons rattling around the back of her closet -- genocide, slavery, sexism -- and your parents warned you to keep your eyes open, but you went ahead and took the plunge.  She was just so damned sexy and she took care of you, besides.  The toys kept rolling in and you continued trading up for better apartments.  Sure, she drank a little too much and she could be a bit on the loud side.  People whispered behind your backs that she was pushy.  But you ignored them and concentrated on her good qualities.  She could be generous to a fault when she was so inclined, she always did her best to help you get ahead and, most of all, she was never boring. 

But the relationship is troubled.  As the years pass, it becomes more and more difficult to excuse her acting out.  Finally, you wake up one morning after dragging her out of a party she had crashed after too many cocktails where she insulted the host, got in a fight with the guest of honor and refused to leave when asked.  You look at her, passed out next to you in your king-size waterbed; all puffy and bloated, her greying roots showing beneath her dye job, skin  dried and wrinkled from too many borrowed cigarettes and too much Caribbean sun.  And you realize, as you watch her sleep those last few moments before she opens her bloodshot eyes, hung over and mad at the world, that maybe you don't love her all that much anymore. 

When you try to explain the situation to friends they ask, "Why don't you leave her?"  And the truth is, maybe you should.  But, when push comes to shove, you just can't bring yourself to walk out the door.  Let's face it, you're no spring chicken yourself.  All of your friends are her friends.  They'd probably choose her and you'd be left to grow old, without the benefit of grace or company.  The apartment is nice -- could you really go back to a studio in one of the boroughs after three bedrooms and a roof-top pool in Soho?  Plus the sex is still good once in a while.  Damned good.  And she can still make your heart sing when she smiles that smile she saves for only you.  So you stay, promising yourself there are better days ahead.

That's pretty much how I feel about America these days.  When someone says, "Love it or leave it," I'm forced to admit that I probably should, but I probably won't.  Italy's a long way away and they don't play baseball.

So, I roll over, give her a kiss and say, "Happy anniversary, dear."

Bush: Corrupt or Inept?

Distracted by the fun of watching the Obama/Clinton steel cage, death match in North Carolina this week, I almost missed the opportunity to celebrate the five-year anniversary of "Mission Accomplished."  Five years ago Thursday, George Bush dressed up as a fighter pilot and had a real one set him down on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln.  All decked out in his costume, he paraded in front of the assembled crew and press, like a kid getting ready for Halloween, and then stood in front of the now infamous banner and told the nation, "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended."

Anniversaries being a time to take stock, it seems like a good chance to take a break from the Democratic primaries and remember some of the Bush administration's greatest hits.  All good parties need a game.  Pin the Tail On the Donkey's fun, but I hardly think a donkey would be welcome at a Republican affair.  Truth or Consequences is always a crowd-pleaser but it might take too long to explain the rules to the guests -- the Bush administration has taken precious little notice of either concept.  Something along those lines, though . . . how  about Verdict: Corrupt or Inept?  The game is simple.  We'll look at a few of the administration's signature disasters and choose whether each was a result of outright corruption or simple ineptitude.  Ready?  

We've really got to start with the Iraq War, being as it's pretty much the inspiration for the whole game.  To review:  After toppling the Taliban, we pivoted our focus from Afghanistan towards Iraq in order to remove Saddam, thereby allowing bin Laden to head for the hills of Pakistan and disappear down a cave.  Depending upon whom you believe, Cheney or Rumsfeld or Wolfowitz or Feith ordered L. Paul Bremer to disband the Iraqi army, loosing a quarter of a million pissed-off, out-of-work young men into the countryside.  We went after these insurgents with helicopters, bombs and missiles, with scant regard for "collateral damage," a euphemistic term for the innocent civilians killed in our determination to present them with the gift of democracy.  That number, by the way, has just passed 90,000 for those of you keeping score.  We misread the role of Iran in Iraqi Shiite politics, assuming their "interference" was negligible.  To the contrary, Iran is providing arms and training multiple insurgent factions and their regional influence continues to grow, along with their nuclear potential.  Rumsfeld's determination to do the job on the cheap lead the administration to ignore the advice of Army chief of staff General Shinseki, who testified that several hundred thousand troops would be required to stabilize Iraq.  Shinseki was forced into retirement, years passed, thousands died and Bush eventually ordered a surge in American forces.  The list is virtually endless, but I'm getting a headache and this is supposed to be a party, so let's put Iraq to bed.  VERDICT--INEPT

Speaking of taking stock, the New York Times reported yesterday on the study that the Department of Education released of Bush's $6 billion Reading First initiative, which he insisted be included in the No Child Left Behind legislation in 2001.  The report stated, "Reading First did not improve students' reading comprehension."  Grover Whitehurst, director of the Institute of Education Sciences, concluded that the program, "doesn't end up helping children read."  To be fair, Reading First does still have its supporters, including Education Secretary Margaret Spellings.  The relative merits of the program in its current form are debatable.  What is not, however, is that it has been headed by hacks who have used their positions to feather the nests of specific publishers at the expense of the students' best interests.  Chris Doherty, the Reading First director, was forced to resign in 2006 when the conflict of interests became public.  He referred in emails to backers of alternative curriculums as "dirtbags" who were "trying to crash our party."  Sen. Edward Kennedy, chairman of the Senate education committee, accused the administration of putting, "cronyism first and the reading skills of our children last."  VERDICT-- (too close to call, really) CORRUPT and INEPT

Also this week, Lurita Doan, the head of the General Services Administration, which handles billions of dollars in federal contracts, was forced to resign.  Not only did she allegedly use her position to steer government business towards friends, she is also accused of violating the Hatch Act, which prohibits government employees from taking action that could influence an election.  A Karl Rove deputy gave a meeting at GSA in which he identified specific Democrats the Republican Party was targeting for defeat in 2008 as well as Republicans whom they deemed vulnerable.  Doan has been quoted as asking him at the meeting how her agency could be used to "help our candidates."  VERDICT--CORRUPT

When Dick Cheney became Vice President in 2000, he left his position as CEO of Halliburton, Co., one of the largest oil-service companies in the world.  He cashed in over $30 million in company stock at the time.  Halliburtonwatch.org details the chronology of the company's truly meteoric rise to their current monopolistic position as contractors to the Iraq War.  Halliburton split its time in the 90's between making billions hand-over-fist and paying comparatively piddling fines levied against them for stock fraud and over-billing practices.  In 2001, Halliburton subsidiary KBR secured a ten-year deal with the Pentagon with no cost ceiling to provide support services to the Army.  Cheney claimed in 2003 he had, "no financial interest in Halliburton of any kind and haven't had, now, for over three years."  Well, except for the $150,000 per year in deferred compensation the company was paying him at the time and the 433,333 shares of unexercised stock options he still owned.  The longer this war goes on, the richer Halliburton gets and the more those Cheney stock options are worth.  VERDICT--CORRUPT

George Bush's Department of Justice, headed by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, chose Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 2006, to dismiss eight U.S. attorneys without apparent cause.  They were replaced by hand-picked interim appointees.  Several of the fired attorneys claimed they were being pressured to direct, or not direct, their prosecutions in a partisan manner.  A U.S. attorney's job is to police politicians.  When the DOJ tells them who, and how, to investigate, the public trust has been breached.  On August 27, 2007, after months of stonewalling, Gonzales finally resigned amid accusations of perjury in his testimony before Congress.  VERDICT--There's more than a whiff of INEPT here, but, to be fair, Gonzales brought that with him when he took over the DOJ.  His qualifications were always suspect.  CORRUPT

Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast on Monday, August, 29, 2005.  President Bush was on vacation at the time and decided to go ahead with his plans to fly to Phoenix and help John McCain celebrate his birthday.  By the time they got around to cutting the cake, the levees in New Orleans had been breached and the 9th ward was under 6-8 feet of water.  Louisiana Governor Blanco pleaded, "Mr. President, we need your help.  We need everything you've got."  Bush went to bed.  The next day, he visited the El Mirage Country Club in Cucamonga, California, as part of a drug-benefits tour, missing that day's video conference on Katrina.  Mass looting was taking place in New Orleans.  Exhausted police were being used to control the looters instead of engaging in search and rescue.  Bush was pictured playing guitar with country singer Mark Willis before returning to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, for the final night of his vacation.  On Wednesday, two full days after Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast, Bush flew over the region in Air Force One to assess the damage.  By now, FEMA staff was reporting that people were dying at the Superdome.  Ex-commissioner of the International Arabian Horse Association, Michael Brown headed to New Orleans in his new position as director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.  Five of his top eight FEMA officials had also come to their current jobs with virtually no disaster experience.  The top three FEMA officials all had ties to the Bush 2000 presidential campaign or the White House advance operation.  This crack staff was responsible for an inadequate evacuation plan and a relief effort woefully short on planning, supplies, manpower and communication.  A 2006 Republican House select committee investigated the government's response to Katrina and concluded that the response to, "Katrina was a national failure, an abdication of the most solemn obligation to provide for the common welfare . . ."  They judged Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff "detached" and Michael Brown "clueless."  VERDICT:  CORRUPT (in that FEMA staffing at the highest levels was yet another of the egregious examples of the Bush administration's proclivity for blatant cronyism) and INEPT

Well, that's all the time we have for our game today.  Join us next week when we'll cover classics like Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Abu Ghraib, Pre-911 Intelligence Failures and the skewed/suppressed scientific research at NIH, HHS, FDA and the EPA.  

For now, we'll just say, "Happy Anniversary, Mr. President."  Loved the fighter pilot costume.

And now, back to the wrestling in North Carolina.